You may or may not love your husband, but the two of you are just as married either way.
You may love your mistress, but that certainly doesn’t make her your spouse.
But religious doctrine has no special standing in the world of secular law and policy (the “Christian nation” crowd notwithstanding).
If we want to know what and whom marriage is for in modern America, we need a sensible secular doctrine.
Couples can be adulterous (“open”) yet remain married.
They can be celibate, too; consummation is not required.
What’s a little extracurricular love provided that each partner is fulfilling his or her many other marital duties?
In the West, of course, love is a defining element.
The notion of life-long love is charming, if ambitious, and certainly love is a desirable element of marriage.
In society’s eyes, however, it cannot be the defining element.