Similar to alimony, palimony is an allowance for support made by one partner in a nonmarital relationship to the other after the couple separates.
“It’s essential that each party’s estate plan is up-to-date and supports the provisions of the cohab agreement,” Ryan says.
You might find out that those cute little habits he has aren’t that cute, or that his idea of how a house should be run don’t mesh with yours. Home issues are major dealbreakers that often don’t come to light until you’re both under the same roof.
You might not be able to predict them, either, and this can lead to you splitting up within the first couple of months.
“This is absolutely a growing trend,” says Alexis Walker, co-director of the School of Social and Behavioral Health Sciences and holder of the Petersen Chair in Gerontology and Family Studies at Oregon State University’s College of Public Health and Human Sciences. So even though they may feel they are not behaving appropriately, people feel they don’t have choices.” If you’re weighing the benefits of marriage versus cohabitation, it might be smart to put off wedding plans until after your 60th birthday.
“For a number of people in this age group, it’s a financial issue,” she said. Remarriage before the age of 60 can have penalizing effects on retirement income, says CFP Ana Cela Harris, founder and president of Cela Advisors in Miami.
Unlike other relationship tests, this one can be a fun one if you both put your minds to it. So, expect sex to be more frequent at the very least.
Living together helps you learn to act like a team.
Children are less likely to feel threatened that a significant other, unlike a new spouse, will disinherit them, says Harris, though this could be addressed with a premarital agreement.
Ryan advises live-in partners to draw up a cohabitation agreement listing “all significant assets of both parties, whether there will be a joint bank account, who is going to pay for what, how they are going to handle the purchase of significant household items — including pets — and how to determine who owns these items if they split up.” It’s preferable to have this agreement notarized, she says.