Critical Thinking Jokes

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One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end, but I don’t see the point.

Compiled from various sources: When does a joke become a dad joke? What do you call a person who tells dad jokes but has no kids?

A faux pa “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’” I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.

If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I take something for it. The bartender said “sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.” What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans! People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. ” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient.” How do you make a Kleenex dance? “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.” What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” I gave away all my dead batteries today… My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water”. My son once said “Dad, I’ll call you later.” I told him “Don’t call me later. I said “No, I’m half left.” I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest. If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest? To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.” I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. It was a soft drink How does a penguin build it’s house? 1forrest1 If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.” Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?


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